Harry Potter the Ruler of Middle Earth
by Sizzle Spirit
Summary: This is a very RANDOM story where Harry Potter becomes the ruler of Middle Earth. Yeah, this is totally insane...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello, this is my first fanfic, and this is a story of how Hary Potter decided to take on Arzog, and Rule Middle Earth. This story is probably going to be SERIOUSLY RANDOM, so you have been warned! Don't forget to review!

Chapter 1

Harry Potter grinned. After he had been thrown into Middle Earth, everything was easy. He simply had had to say, "AVADA KEDAVRA", and Arzog fell before him. Same with Saron and Saruman. But Harry didn't know which side to take now that he had taken over  
all the bad rulers. He would probably go there. He stood up from the grass, and walked over to the dark side. Besides, he heard there was lots of cupcakes on that side. WAIT A MINUTE! THERE WERE CUPCAKES?!

He ran over to the cupcake side. MWAHHAHAHHAHAHAH! The cupcake side cheered for him. Now, that he had got the cupcakes, he'll just have to get Hermione and Ron to join him. Harry grinned evilly. He could give Ron a Darth Vader costume, and Hermione, a  
Katniss Everdeen costume. He might give himself a Voldemort costume. But the _real_ reason he was going to give them those costumes, was because, EVERONE liked those people, and they would give all of their cupcakes to them. Then, he could steal  
all of theirs! It was the perfect plan. Right? WHAT? Of course I am going to betray them, wouldn't you do that for cupcakes? WHY Y-

Oh, never mind.

Hermione: Where is Harry?

Ron: He went to become a dark lord.

Hermione: WHAT?

Ron: It's not my f-

Hermione: **Tackles Ron**

Harry: Hey! Come join the dark side!

Hermione: Stop fooling around you stupid boys! You need to finish your potions homework!

Ron: Can you do i-

Hermione: NO!

Harry: It's only a story remember?!

Hermione: Oh, right. Well, GET TO WORK THEN! OR ELSE…

Harry & Ron: 0_0

A/N: Yes, I know it was horrible. The next chapter will be better, I promise!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

A/n: Thank you so much to the 2 who followed this story, and a very special thank to the author of the review! Remember, I can see how many views this is getting, and I know, all, but one very awesome person, has reviewed! :'( So, REVEIW AND ENJOY!

It was a dark night, (Hermione: But it was really morning) and the evil Harry Lord (Hermione: He wasn't that evil as he tried to be though) was creepily (Hermione: It wasn't that creepy) creeping to the creepy cupcakes (Hermione: Seriously, how can cupcakes be creepy?). (Harry: Hermione, get out of my chapter, until the bottom!) (Hermione: Fine! *Goes*) (Harry: Ah, now we can continue.) And just as he reached for his favorite pink one, with rainbow sprinkles, and chocolate frosting, a loud sound made him take out his wand.

"MY LORD, MY LORD!" Screamed the raspy voice of his servant, Aragon.

The dark lord frowned, put his precious cupcake down, and yelled back, "WHAT?!"

"The Superdark Leader wishes to speak with you!"

Harry frowned deeper, if that was possible. What could the Emperor Gollum, possibly want with him?

 _I was just about to eat his cupcake for breakfast, I mean dinner._ It was a dark night, remember? He WOULD have vanquished him as well, if the Emperor hadn't promised him the finest cupcakes in all of Middle Earth. _I shall go see what he want and then come back for my precious cupcakes._ He thought. And with that, Harry Potter set out for a long journey across the room, to find out the answer to mysterious question that he had been dying to know for ages, though it was really seconds.

Hermione: Harry, you made way too many mistakes in your writing.

Harry: That is LORD HARRY to you!

Ron: Give it a rest mate, you will never be a dark lord.

Harry: WHY YO-

Hermione: Not only that, but it is a bright morning, not dark night!

Harry: But I joined the dark side!

Hermione: Wh-

Harry: Oh, never mind!

Hermione & Ron: 0_0 Right...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Guys, please review, they make my my day! And also, without further ado, the next chapter!**

 **Lord Harry was finally back to eating his cupcake. (Hermione: Harry, stop relaxing, and finish your Potions homework! Now!) (Harry: Hermione, get out of my story.) (Hermione: Fine, I'll just go tell Professor Sna-) (Harry: No! Please Her-) (Hermione: -_-) (Harry: Oh, all right, you can stay. Now where was I? Oh!) He was so tired from that long, and super-mega ultra boring speech from Superdark Lord Gollum. All that his leader said was that somebody named Gallialf? Goldalp? Gardenalf? Ganalf? (Hermione: *Sighs* Gandalf, Harry.) Was going to attack his castle at dusk. Harry cared not, for he had been interrupted during cupcake time, and he never cares for anything spoken to him at that time. And even if there was an attack, who cares?** _ **I mean, I can take them down easily with magic,**_ **he thought. (Hermione: You're not that capable!) (Harry: I am a dark lord, and in this story I am, so get used to it Hermione! Maybe. . .) So, with that, he trotted back to bed, to await the next day. But as soon as he fell back asleep, the little spy that had been watching him, crept carefully out of the room, to tell his master the information.**

 **The boy opened his hologram, and the blue picture of Lord Gollum came to life.**

" **He hasn't done anything about it, except eat a cupcake, and go back to sleep." said the boy.**

" **What the- oh, that- why doesn't he do something about it? Potter needs to find the ring! That was the last thing Voldemort made me promise before he died!" exclaimed the Superdark Emperor. "I sure hope it will go all right."**

 **Almost everything was going according to the plan. But the question is, for who?**

 ***Intense music***

 **Hermione: Harry, that was the worst chapter by far, that you have written.**

 **Ron: She's right, mate.**

 **Harry: Fine! If it makes you happy, I will write more.**

 **Ron: Works for me!**

 **Hermione: Oh, dear. Please don't make it worse.**

 **Harry: Tomorrow!**

 **Hermione: -_-**

 **A/N: Review, or Harry will make sure that you shall never taste a cupcake again!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 **Hi guys, SO sorry for the long wait, but I hope you enjoy this chapter! This is dedicated to my lovely reviewers, followers, favoriters, and anyone who is reading this! Now, I'll stop talking, and give this over to Harry. (Harry: Finally!) (Hermione: Harry! DOn't be rude! You're the one spilled ink all over YOUR writing!) (Harry: Yeah, well if Ron hadn't bumped my shoulder-) (Hermione: Well if Lavender hadn't pushed Ron, to get his attention-) (Harry: Well if-) (Me: Hurry up and show them the chapter!) (Harry & Hermione: *Scowls*Fine!)**

Emperor Gollum was screaming his head off inside. MY PRECIOUS HAS BEEN STOLEN bY GANDALF THE WHITE. MY PRECIOUS HAD BEEN STOLEN BY GANDALF THE WHITE. _MY_ PRECIOUS! He screamed. His plan was not going well. NOT AT ALL. What was he going to do? Yes, Voldemort made him promise to let Harry find the Ring. But it was his precious, not Harry's. HE KNEW WHAT HE MUST DO.

Meanwhile, Harry was in love. With not what you would think of. He was deeply in love with Gandalf's beard. HE MUST HAVE IT. It was so white, and gleamed in the dark. It brought hope to others. It was perfect. Perfect for a dark lord. _But first,_ he thought, _I must get Hermione and Ron to join me at the dark side._ (Hermione: We'll never join you!) So as he creepily creeped to the creepy case and creepily opened the creepy cover, the creepy creature appeared.

"What do you want?..."

"You know exactly what I want."

"More delicious cupcakes?...

"That, and more..."

TO BE CONTINUED

Meanwhile, Gandalf and the secret council were held in a meeting. The ring lay on a stone, and Lord Elrond was discussing that the ring must be destroyed, and that great evil is after it, and you must go to Mordor, and blah blah blah. Something, something, something. Then somehow 9 weird people decided that they would be famous and they will march together and separate in the end, then somehow stay alive, and at the end, Elrond said may the force be with you, or something like that.

Hermione: You call THAT a chapter?

Harry: Well if you think my writing is bad, then why don't you write the next chapter?

Hermione: I will!

 **Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**The next chapter awaits...**

 **(Harry: Hermione, you took FOREVER to update) (Hermione: I, unlike you and Ron was focusing on my exams) (me: Seriously, Hermione?)(Harry and me:You made the readers wait though!) (Hermione: ...) (Voldemort, Gollum, and Gandalf: Hurry up with the chapter!) (Harry, Hermione, and me: Fine!)**

* * *

"Why must I do everything my self, Gollum! Gollum!" Emperor Gollum crept out of his room most frustrated. He would have to find the precious himself, and kill this Frodo Bagginzes.

Why, why, why?

He heard the secret council, in which Elronizz said that his precious must be destroyed.

"No, we mustn't let them. We mustn't let them take the precious! Gollum!"

Away he, went. Out of the castle, out of the shadows, into the night to find his precious. The grass was green, and he found many wormsies for food, and fish is the murky and muddy waters, from which he drank. The sun beating down upon his head, was setting, into a sunset. ' _How ugly, precious, he thought_. As the days went, only Gollum finally found them in stone Mines of Moria. He watched from behind them.

"It appears that I have lost the way," said Gandalf.

"So, we're lost, then," said Samwise Gamgeez.

"Now, don't be hasty, Master Gamegee."

Gollum cared not, for (Harry: he had a pack of Cheetos, which he started eating while watching Pirates of the Caribbean-) (Hermione: I'm writing the chapter!) -for now it would be very easy to follow thehobbitzezz. Perhaps, ah! He could throw a pot, to attract all the goblins, and he could finally (Harry: Eat ice cream with Voldemort-) SEPARATE the Fellowship.

* * *

Meanwhile, Harry was beginning to realize something. The cupcakes were makinghis head go all weezy, he felt like taking over the entire Middle Earth, and rulingit. Maybe another cupcake would make his head straight. By the time he was done, Middle Earth  
was a land that needed to be ruled by him. Now.

* * *

Hermione stormed over to the man in the hooded cloak. "You put something in those cupcakes, didn't you?"

The hooded figure smiled evilly as Ronand Hermione were held back.

"All in good time, mudblood. Your friend has joined my side. And once he has taken over Middle Earth, I will get to rule all of the planets. Well, we can save that for another time, because you won't be leaving anytime soon."

* * *

 **I hope you guys liked the chapter, please review! For a shoutout in the next chapter, tell me in you review, which chapter you like better- when it's written by Hermione, or when it's written by Harry!**

 **Thanks for reading, bye!**

* * *

 **Hermione: It's already obvious whose going to win!**

 **Harry: You are so right, it's me!**

 **Hermione: *Rolls eyes***

 **Ron: Harry, can I have the Cheetos, and the Pirates of the Caribbean movie that Gollum should have gotten?**

 **Harry and Hermione: ...**

 **Ron: Nevermind...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Amu4Ever: My IPad keep doing werid things when I type - when I first edited it, everything was fine. After I went to make sure it posted, the word were written together, and there were paragraphs where there shouldn't be. Thank's for reviewing!**  
 **  
**

 **Guest: Lol! I actually love POTC! Do you? ;)**

 ****

 **(Me: Harry, it appears you won-) (Harry: YASS! *Victory lap around Hogwarts*See Hermione! I am better than you at writing!) (Hermione: *Rolls Eyes*At least** _ **I**_ **took the time to write a decent chapter! (Harry and Me: YOU TOOK FOREVER!)**

 **(Hermione: *Rolls eyes*) (Harry: Ugh) (Me and Ron: ON WITH THE CHAPTER)**

 ****

 **(Dumbldore and Voldemort: Who gave you kids control?)**

 ****

 **0_0**

 ****

 **Anywhooooo...**

 ****

* * *

"Ron we have to get out of here!" Hermione said, rattling against the cage bars in their cell.

Ron merrily shrugged his shoulders. "I found this compass!"

"Really?" Hermione said. "We could use that to get out of here!" she grabbed the compass out of Ron's hand and opened it. The red arrow pointed in one direction and then kept spinning to no end. "It's broken," she said and tossed aside.

"Well, we have Pirates of the Caribbean to watch!"

"Ron that's not even- wait is that?"

"Jack Sparrow?" Ron finished for her.

"Ron what have you done?!' Hermione cried, her arms failing.

It was true - Jack Sparrow was climbing up on the roof, and walking in the most werid way.

* * *

Harry was singing happily on the lands of darkness, it gave him great joy. He wanted MORE. Everything was fun and now he wanted to make the entire Middle Earth dark - so that he could rule. He finally sat on his throne of pure gold and watched as his  
orcs invaded the lands happily, swinging they're sword, along skipping. Everyone escaped, but that was okay, because the orcs were happy, they were skipping since they had a master that gave them cupcakes.

He know spoke to the mysterious master in a cloak that sat across from him. 

* * *

Harry: Hermione stole my laptop and wrote the whole thing!

Ron: Hermione...

Hermione: *Rolls eyes* 

* * *

**Thanks guys! Special shoutout to the guest reviewer! You know who you are!**

 ****

 **For a shoutout in the next chapter, reveiw who you think the 'mysterious master' is! Please reveiw! Bye!**

 ****


	7. Chapter 7

**Guest Reveiwer: Um... Good guess, but you're completely off. Thanks for reviewing, and here's your chapter!**

* * *

 **Me: Hey Nagini!) (Nagini: What?!) (Voldemort and Me: 0_0 You can talk?!) (Voldemort: After all this time...?) (Nagini: Always. *Jumps in Voldy's arms and cries together with sad music in the background*)**

 **Hey you guys! What about- oh, nevermind.**

 **(Hermione: *Rolls eyes* You have to get your homework fin-) (Harry: *Jumps on top of her* NO HOMEWORK IN SUMMER!) (Me: Harry, it's not Summer any more...) (Harry: Saddest moment of my life!) (Me: I know! *We hug and cry together* And I thought you'd be happy to be away from the Dursleys! *Still crying* Don't roll your eyes at us Hermione!)**

 **Well, I'm out of here! Here's your chapter! WRITTEN BY HARRY! (Harry and Hermione: Finally!) (Hermione: I've been doing all the work!) (Harry: *Death glare* *Rolls eyes* I got to roll my eyes before you! Mwahahaha!) (Ron: *Out of breath* Harry, Snape's- wait is that Voldemort hugging and crying with Nagini?!)**

 **Stop! The chapter must go on!**

 ***Silence***

 **Yay it worked!**

 **I'll actually let you read the chapter now...**

* * *

"So..." Gandalf said stroking his beard. "I have come up with a plan of master. It involves much experience and skill, that I now bringto you at the turn of the tide!"

"You know," said Pippin chewing an apple. "This isn't so bad! We've got Pirates of the Caribbean to watch, Merry!"

Gandalf sighed in exasperation - the hobbits were not interested in what he had to say at all.

"Pippin! I thought you left Pirates Of The Caribbean back with Ron Weasley! (Hermione: Ron...) Wait, did you say something Gandalf?"

"Fool of a took!

"I'm going to put my plan into action...let's hope the Lord Harry son of Potter will turn to the light." Gandalf said in a whisper, as Merry and Pippin continued tolaugh and talk with cheery voices androsy cheeks.

(Harry: Hermione, Give. Me. My. Laptop. Back. NOW.) (Hermione: *Sticks tongue out*) (Harry and Me: Do what the readers want!)

* * *

"Ron," Hermione said. "I think I found a way-" she looked frantically around seeing that her friend was wearing headphones.

Ron was at his favorite part in Pirates of the Caribbean, only to feel his 100 dollar headphones ripped off his head.

"Hey!" he said. "I was at the part where Jack is escaping from-"

"Ron! What is wrong with you? Jack Sparrow is going to come any minute!"

"So?" he said shrugging his shoulders. "He's my favorite character!"

Hermione face palmed.

Just as she was about to collapse on the ground, a strange thing caught her eyes. At first, she thought it was a plane, but remembered there weren't planes in Middle Earth. Then she realized it was an owl! She jumped up, only to find that it was a delivery  
/package.

"What...?"

There was not one, but two, and it landed right on top of her, throwing her to the ground. And spilling Ron's ice cream in the process.

"Ron!"

She ripped it open, only to find that they were costumes...A KATNISS EVERDEEN AND DARTH VADER COSTUME?

She then noticed the tag...From Harry Potter the Dark Lord. NOOO.

* * *

 **Please reveiw guys! Even smiley faces are fine!**


	8. Chapter 8

**(Me: Hello everyone!) (Everyone except Harry:...) (Me:What happened? Why is everyoneso sad? And why is Harry partying in the background there?)(Hermione: Harry decided to write the next chapter, and stole all of our ice cream in it!) (Me: I thought you didn't even like ice cream!?) (Hermione: Read the story - Hermione eats Ice Cream)**  
 **  
**

 **Okay...**

 **(Me:Hey Voldemort!) (Voldemort: *Hisses* Come to die?) (Me:Do you like Cheetos? *I throw him a bag of them*) (Voldemort: *decides to take onebite* My eyes turn orange for my love of Cheetos!)**

 **(Harry: Oh dear...) (Voldemort: I LOVE CHEETOS!) (Me: What have I done?**

 **I will let you read the chapter now!**

* * *

A hooded figure with a mystery face was coming towards Harry excited to let his plan fall into place. He was about to wave his wand, when suddenly, there was a huge bright light that seemed to come out of no where, right in front of Harry. Behind the light, Gandalf stood with his staff muttering a spell that filled Harry with hope, happiness, peace, and good. The evil, war, and darkness was drained from his eyes, causing the glassy grey orbs to fade into green ones once more. When the light had faded, Harry nearly fell over in his chair, with a feeling he could not place before. He looked at Gandalf, not remembering anything that had happened during Middle Earth. The last thing he remembered was apperating to get away from the people trying to talk to them and pictures for defeating Voldemort. And then... a hooded figure with a mystery face had found him when he was alone for only a minute. And the words he remembered still rang in his ears:

Imperio...Imperio...Imperio...Imperio...Imperio...Imperio...Imperio...Imperio...Imperio...Imperio...Imperio...

Imperio...Imperio...

"Harry Potter, welcome back to the light," said Gandalf. Behind him, stood all the friends and people he had shared moments with, Hermione, Ron, and even more of his friends standing beneath the starry sky. Sad, beautiful, and soft music played in the background.

Hermione raised her wand, "Liaqua!" A huge bright light erupted from her wand and flew into the sky and erupted causing the sky light up, tiny balls of light floating down. They stood there embracing in good and peace.

But this moment can never last forever.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" A voice screeched. A hooded figure was marching towards Gandalf furious. "How dare you turn him back!" The mystery person pointed a wand directly at him.

However, before furious figure could mutter a curse through his wand, Ron came to the back of him and yanked of his hood. Everyone was shocked to see that it was the person they very least expected to see.

* * *

 **Ohhh, cliff hanger! Maybe if you review, I will update quicker! Or rather Harry will. Thank you for reading, and PLEASE review, It would make my day!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey yall! It's been a couple years, how are you? Ok so I wrote this when I was 10... Let me assure you, my writing is not that bad anymore. I'm in 7th grade now, that must count for something, LOL. :)**

 **(Hermione: Guess what? You don't have any homework!) (Me: That's all I've ever wanted to hear!) (Voldemort: Do you know where I can get more cheetos?) (Harry: I think Gollum stole them...)(Gollum: MY PRECIOUS!) (Me: Stop! I ended on a cliffhanger and then didn't update! I always hate it when other people do that, and then I did it! So if you would let the chapter go on...)**

 **(Ron: Fine, but can we stay?) (Me: Of course! Now let's do this!)**

* * *

The hooded figure pulled back their hood. The mastermind behind all of it was... (Harry: DRUMROLL!)

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM!

Everyone gasped in disbelief. How could _Neville_ be the one behind this evil?

"Expelliarmus!" Hermione cried before Neville could cast a spell. No one could stop staring. "Neville...? Why?"

Neville looked at the ground in shame. "I wanted the fame, okay? I was jealous, and Harry always gets all the attention. Then Gollum bribed me with...with... cupcakes. And I couldn't say no!" He burst into tears. **(Ron: Harry, you ruin everything!)**

Harry ran to Neville and hugged him, and they cried together at the memory of the delicious cupcakes. Again, everyone stared. **(Hermione: Bleh! Why would Harry do that?) (Harry: Can we stop with the Harry-bashing?) (Everyone: *stares*) (Harry: Hey! Come on! I know Fanfiction terms. And yes.. I read a lot.)**

Suddenly, Gollum appeared with a tray of mouthwatering cupcakes with blue frosting and white sprinkles. "Who wants _cupcakes_ , precious?"

However, before Gollum could do anything, Gandalf took his staff and with blinding light he yelled, "Get thee gone, and take thy due place, you creature!" Gollum cried out in anger before disappearing into thin air. **(Hermione: Wait, where did he go?) (Harry: Shush! It's the magic of Gandalf!)**

The moment Gollum disappeared, everyone began to celebrate! Ron called, "ATTENTION!" he grinned as everyone looked up at him. "I have a special reward." He took out a concealed new movie of Pirates of the Caribbean."LET'S DO THIS!"

"Wait!" Harry called. "What do we do with those cupcakes...?"

Gandalf replied, "Ah yes, the big question. I have an idea! And please don't touch my beard, Harry."

* * *

Oooooo! What's the idea? And don't forget to review! :)


End file.
